Bein' Single

I got to use the adjective "depressingly interesting" today. It's always an exciting moment in life when you you realize you've said something that you've never said before. I'm so absolutely positive that never in my 19.5 years have I ever used any pairing of words anywhere close to that. In fact, it's probably safe to say those words have never been paired before. Mostly this is because it's a semi-oxymoron.

--------------------> QUICK ENGLISH LESSON

Mr. Clueless from Cleveland says:

Dear Rian (my guide in all aspects of life),

What is an "oxymoron"?

---**---

Dear Mr. Clueless from Cleveland,

An oxymoron is a pairing of words that contradict each other. For example, if you said somthing was happily depressing, that would be an oxymoron because something cannot be happy and depressing at the same time. Generally oxymorons are used in jokes because they make no sense or in poems because poets like to be "morons" themselves.

Want another oxymoron? Creative Poet.

Sincerely,
Rian (your guide in all aspects of life)

--------------------> END ENGLISH LESSON

Now that we're all on the same page, I say that "depressingly interesting" is a semi-oxymoron because the two words aren't exactly idependent opposites. To state my case, I'll explain what lead to me using this adjective.

I was reading a bulletin on Myspace. I'm not happy to announce that I have a Myspace, but I do, so get over yourself. Anyway, it was a bulletin that my friend titled "Bein' Single". Basically all it was was people posting the reasons they think they're single. With the exception of one or two people, everybody had a reason. When it comes to the few people who said "I don't know," well, that's total bullshit. If you're single you have a reason why, even if you don't want to admit it to yourself or even if the reason is complete bullshit too.

Most people have good reasons though that I think are thoughts that the majority of the people on this planet share. Let me share some of these, followed by my commentary (minus the names of course).

"Because I'm nice and girls don't go for the nice guys."
---> Bullshit is the word of the day. There's two things wrong with this very common sentence. One, you are not a nice guy. There's no such thing as an all around "nice" guy. There IS such a thing as a nice guy, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder, if you get my drift. You are not nice to everyone, you break hearts, you lead girls on even when you don't mean to, you're an asshole sometimes even if you don't realize it. Two, girls ARE looking for the nice guy, but for THEIR nice guy. Saying that girls don't go for the nice guy is just something you say to make yourself feel better. She could be going out with the nicest guy in the world and you'd still think he was a dick just because you're not him. Girls want what they want, if that's not you, find another girl who does want you.

"I'm ugly"
---> I'm sorry. Someday you might find someone who disagrees. Plus, such pesimissm never got anybody anywhere.

"Guys are stupid!"
---> So are girls, get over yourself.

"because guys dont like me"
---> I'm dead sure that there has been a guy in your life that has liked you and you either didn't know about it or didn't return those feelings. Guys DO like you, but the only guys that matter to you are the ones that you like. Perhaps those guys didn't like you (maybe some did?) but regardless, eventually you'll find one who will.

"Because my last boyfriend turned out to be married."
---> Yeah, you might want to avoid that.

"cause i go after the ungettable.i need help."
---> Nobody is "ungettable," sounds like a confidence problem.

"Just too many of them play games and just cant be into one person and be happy with just one person"
---> I agree. People who play games aren't worth it. Either you want something or you don't. Things can get confusing enough without playing games too. Sometimes games can be a good way to prove how much a person is in to you, but they can also push people away who are very very in to you. The people who can't be happy with just one person are the people who are searching too much for "the one" instead of just jumping in and being happy with "the one right now."

"I'm single because I'm weird and no one can handle me"
---> Are you proud of that or not? I hope you are. You just need somebody else who is really weird and can go blow for blow with you. (That's a boxing metaphor, nothing sexual)

"Because im fat and shy as hell"
---> Lose weight, get confident.

"Basically because I don't know what I want."
---> I think this is a problem a lot of people have, but they usually don't admit it. Kudos to this girl.

"I guess because guyz only date pretty girlz"
---> That's not true. I've seen plenty of guys with some pretty ugly girls, I'm sure they think their girlfriends are beautiful though. (On a side note...don't use the letter 'z' to replace 's'...that's just annoying).

"Nice guys finish last."
---> You're always going to finish last if you walk the race while everybody else is running.

"I want a pretty girl that doesn't think she's to good for everyone and those dont exist! Oh and they have the cooties."
---> Yes they do and some do. haha

"because I haven't found a man who is intellectually and emotionally on my plane who also has the ability to be completely adoring but yet not smothering. Who makes me laugh constantly and enjoys the same things I do. But it could just be all these unsightly warts on my face and body!!"
---> Yea...I'm gonna go with the warts thing.

"I do not really know. Sometimes I think it is because I have short hair and guys only like long hair. Other times I think it is because I am not a whore or because I am smart and guys dig simple duh girls. Still, sometimes I think it is because I am so picky, and tired of dating losers and just holding out for someone worth dating"
---> Your hair doesn't matter except to the most shallow of men. Not a whore is a good thing, stick with that. Smart is very good, "simple duh girls" are not. Now that last sentence, about being picky, that seems to be very common. Personally, that's my problem. I'm ridiculously picky which really lowers my options. In my opinion you should never lower your standards, being picky might get you sometimes, but when you do find someone it will be more worth it than anything.

"cuz i change too much. guys dont like that."
---> Yea, they don't...someone might though, find that person.

"maybe i'm afride of change. maybe i should take more chances."
---> Knowing what to do and actually doing it are two very different things.

"Because im a selfish bitch."
---> At least you know it.

"Bein' pessimistic and pretty much always feeling like I'm never perfect for her, feeling I can always be better. That it's just never enough."
---> There's no such thing as perfect. Confidence is the key. I see two options, continue to feel this way and sabotage everything or realize how much she means to you and start being yourself more so you don't lose her.


There were a lot more than this but some were repeats, some were stupid, some were jokes. But as you can see, it is rather "depressingly interesting."

Honestly, I'm the last person to be giving relationship advice or maybe I just need to follow some of my own advice lol. But really, I'm with a lot of people on that list who said they enjoy being single. Sometimes it's just about having fun.

Stop reading...and go have fun.

- Rian