A History of Virus

Sometimes when I'm sick I like to think there's a battle of epic, Lord of the Rings, proportions taking place within my body. On one side there is the invading army of germs or viruses and on the other side is my own army made up of these little white cells, armed with bows and arrows and katanas, ready to chop the heads off the barbarians.

The invading army is relentless. No matter how many times they've entered my body, teeth bared, bringing hell down within me, they always comes back. They've never yet won the battle against my formidable white-bloody-buddies yet this does not deter them. For the invading army still knows that they can cause considerable damage and perhaps they hope that they will damage me enough that the next invading army will deal the finishing blow.

Alas, my own army is young and strong. Each have been well trained since birth (which was probably only days before) and all fight with the tenacity of ten of any of the viruses. They know their skills far outmatch those of the viruses and they have strength in numbers too. The only advantage the viruses have is the element of surprise. The white blood cells never know where the enemy might attack and, unfortunately, they are some slow muther fuckers getting onto the scene. Yet, when they do, they show why few can stand against their might.

I can only hope my white blood cell army will always stay so strong and confident. There are many invading barbarian germs out there that could possibly topple their dominance, but with a little luck and responsiblity, those fierce enemies can be avoided.


Epic battles to date:

The Chicken Pox of '95
- Outcome: The pox put up a grand fight, making their mark in many places across the battlefield. In the end, the white blood cell army not only defeated the invaders but ensured that they could never come back again.

The 1998 Stomach Flu War
- Outcome: No other enemy has yet to fight harder, as the white blood cell army had to call in the support of its allies at the hospital. Yet, with their combined force, the virus was quickly eradicated.

The Cold War
- Outcome: A string of colds throughout the winter months of 1999-2000 sent me home from school many a time to the chagrin of my parents. The common cold may be a complex and fast enemy yet is hardly a match for the strength of the white blood cell army.

The Strep Throat War of 2002
- Outcome: A vicious and painful battle in which many brave white blood cells lost their lives (maybe). Despite the fact the enemy was mostly concentrated in one part of the battlefield, they put up a surprisingly tough fight. In the end, the white blood cells, through shear numbers and tenacity, destroyed the scourge of the throat.

The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre
- Outcome: This has nothing to do with me or the armies of cells and viruses raging within me throughout my life. In fact, I know very little about this specific event. In fact, I wasn’t even alive when it happened (didn’t it happen in the 1920s?). I just like the name; it’s kind of catchy (no pun intended), like “The Boston Tea Party” or “The Battle of Bunker Hill”.

The Flu Skirmish of 2006
- Outcome: Perhaps this “skirmish” is not as grand of a battle as many previous, but still worth mentioning because it happened recently and it’s the only date I’m sure I have right. For much time it was unsure of whether the invading enemy was a simple flu or perhaps a more dangerous foe, such as mononucleosis. The deciding outcome of the battle is not yet clear as pockets of resistance still linger. My katana carrying friends are gaining much ground very quickly and so I have no reason to doubt their dominance on the battlefield once again.


There have been, of course, many other battles throughout my lifetime, but I can’t remember them all nor would I want to try to write them all out in witty and clever ways.

Isn’t this a fun way to think of how your body works? A scientist would come in and tell me all this boring stuff about white blood cells and flu viruses and he would use all these scientific stupid words until I fall asleep.

Did you know that there are actually diseases that can be caused by white blood cells? I call this civil war or mutiny.

To learn more, go here: The Real Story of the Courageous Fighters Within Our Bodies

Stop reading.

- Rian