It's My Line

I've been putting off writing this update because I think it's just going to be so damn long. My only real motivation to actually put the time into writing this is so that the newest post in this blog isn't one that links to a video of six half-naked Japanese guys. In the same vein as that post though, I'm going to show you many many videos. These videos will also make you laugh, but the good news is that they will never creep you out...I hope.

In your continuing journey to learn more about me I've decided to share another tidbit. One of my favorite television shows is probably one of the (if not THE) funniest television shows ever. It involves 4 guys, and a rotating group of many others. These guys go by the name Drew Carey, Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie, and Wayne Brady. Some of the others that are great on the show are Chip Esten, Brad Sherwood, Greg Proops, Kathy Greenwood, Jeff Davis, and a few others. If you're television savvy at all, you'll know that the show in question is "Whose Line Is It Anyway?".

If you've never seen this show before, you've been missing out. Unfortunately, for the entire world, the show ended about 2 years ago due to poor ratings. This, however, was not the show's fault, but the network's (ABC). Originally the show aired on Thursdays at eight o'clock, a horrible time slot since it was against Friends on NBC. Still, the show crawled on and survived until it was moved to another time. Unfortunately, for the show, their time slot changed again and again and again. Anybody who liked the show had a hard time keeping up with the changing schedule and, hence, barely ever knew when it was on. The show finally settled on a Friday time slot, but it was too little, too late, and the show went under. Last year, ABC Family started running new episodes made of footage from the show's tapings that had never been seen before.

I'm not suggesting that you start watching the show regularly (which you can, every weekday on ABC Family at 10pm and 10:30pm), but I highly suggest that you watch a few clips from the show that I have compiled here. These clips are the best of the best that I could find. I'm sure there are amazingly funny bits of the show that I couldn't find, but I'm sure that you'll be pleased with what I did manage to get my hands on.

For your convienence, I've sorted the clips by the title of the various game they're playing. You're welcome.

MOVING PEOPLE
~ Lone Ranger and Tonto
~ With Richard Simmons

THREE-HEADED BROADWAY STAR
~ Lumberjacks In Love: Timber
~ Memorobilia: I Love Your Legwarmers

NARRATE
~ The Maltese Burger
~ The Cassabas of Melnar

PARTY QUIRKS
~ Colin's "Touching" Performance
~ Ryan's Best Moment

SCENE TO RAP
~ With Stephen Colbert

NEWSFLASH
~ Colin Behind Colin

SUPERHEROES
~ Captain Hair

WEIRD NEWSCASTERS
~ Jeff Davis' Christopher Walken Impression

SCENES FROM A HAT
~ Including "Unusual Times To Kiss People"

LET'S MAKE A DATE
~ Colin's Big Scene

SOUND EFFECTS
~ Amusement Park
~ Tarzan and Jane
~ Jurassic Park
~ Cops

HOLLYWOOD DIRECTOR
~ "Get The Fuck Off!"
~ With ROBIN WILLIAMS

SONG STYLES
~ The Village People (with backup)

IMMPROBABLE MISSION
~ Cleaning the Burnoose

QUICK CHANGE
~ Colin is Pregnant
~ Western Riverdance

DEAD BODIES
~ Charlie's Angels (and Colin's oopsie)


And finally, I want you to watch a clip from a short-run show called, "Drew Carey's Green Screen Show," which is very similar to Whose Line. The game they play in this clip is called "Freeze Tag" and is exclusive to the Green Screen Show. You'll catch on pretty quick and this clip is quite funny. Enjoy.

FREEZE TAG
~ Yoga Hurts


I'd like to thank YouTube.com for hosting all these videos and I want to thank the people who actually recorded and uploaded these videos. Now that that crap is out of the way, I hope you enjoyed watching them, however I know that many of you are probably reading this after only watching a few of the videos (yeah, I'm talking to YOU). If that's the case, then you suck. Plain and simple, you suck. It's not opinion, it's fact, you suck.

You suck.

Stop reading and go watch the videos again.

Warning -- Not For The Mature

This video was popular quite a few years ago throughout much of the world (but mostly Japan and North America). My sister first showed it to me quite a few years ago. Like most people, when I first saw it, I thought it was a little weird and a little creepy. The song was catchy enough though. Still, I watched it again later and the more times I watched it the more ridiculous it became, and the more ridiculous it became, the more funny it was. Eventually, it got to the point where it became the funniest video ever. I love seeing the looks on people's faces the first time they watch it, it's priceless.

Anyway, the reason I'm bringing this back now is because I recently came across it again, but this time I watched one with subtitles. I also learned that the video was a satiracal comedy sketch about Japan's ailing government. Despite that fact that the video is fake, it still became massively popular, and for good reason. In fact, it became so popular that Jimmy Kimmel invited the six guys who did it onto his late night show. I watched that video too, and it was even more funny.

When you watch these videos I want you to watch the one without subtitlies first. The fact that you can't understand what is going on was part of the reason the video became so popular in America and why I found it so funny. After you've come to appreciate the original version, then go on and watch the one with subtitles. While watching the one with subtitles, remember that it's a satiracal sketch poking fun at Japan's government (like SNL often does here). The lyrics are funny, but they're even more funny when you somewhat understand the context they're being used in.

YATTA! (without subtitles) - By Happatai
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-feLDOpJfYg

If you watch the one with subtitles first, I'm warning you that you'll ruin it for yourself. If you've already seen Yatta and know what it is, then, by all means, watch the subtitled version.

YATTA! (with subtitles) - By Happatai
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9rWFZesV8s

Warning -- Not For The Immature

I found this written on a website recently. It wasn't exactly the type of webiste you'd expect to find something like this. I didn't think the guy who ran the website had a mature or sincere bone in his body, but I guess you can never judge a book by its cover (or even its first few pages apparently). I don't know why it resonates with me so much, as I don't find myself in any sort of love with anybody. But have you ever thought back in the past, to somebody you thought you loved, only to realize maybe you didn't? Of course, you have...and at the same time you're wondering how you can even tell the difference. Well maybe that's what it is. Anyway, read this quote and maybe you can get an idea of what I'm rambling on about:

No one can tell you whether or not you're in love. I believe that when it
happens, you'll just know. It won't matter what other people tell you, or what
they think. But, truth be told, it's hard to define love, even when you feel
what you think is love. There is no set test. There are a lot of symptoms,
however. If you find yourself thinking about her all the time,
if you would prefer to be with her over anyone else, if you can imagine spending
the rest of your life with her, if you feel comfortable imagining being faithful
to her forever, than yes, you may well be in love. I would say, however, why
does it matter that you give what you're feeling a label? The feeling is the
same, no matter what you call it. You don't need to call it "love"...just enjoy
it, go with it, take it as far as it will go. Being in love is nebulous at best.
You can't always just pin it down, and say 'yep, this is it. I'm sure now'. Love
will grow, or it will die out. You can't really predict the future. So I would
say, stop worrying about what to call what you're feeling, and just do what
feels right, and things will work out as they're supposed to.

Will You Go See This Movie?

I'm not in such a lighthearted mood as I usually am when I write these things. I generally try to keep it fun and less than serious. Right now, however, I'm feeling everything the opposite of light hearted and fun. I'm feeling a little angry, a little annoyed, and deeply upset.

It's impossible to ignore that today the movie World Trade Center comes out. I took a poll on MSN.com that asked "Will You Go See This Movie?". 15% of people will wait to see it on DVD, 42% of people said they will see it, and 43% of people said they will not. Hollywood has given itself a pretty bad repuation over the years, and no doubt that factors in to the winning 43% of people who don't want to see this movie. I'm sure the fact that Oliver Stone, a 9/11 conspiracy buff and notorious cliche Hollywood director, does not help the movie either. Yet, Oliver Stone didn't become popular for being biased and sub-par in his movie making. People are afraid that Hollywood is going to destroy something that should be honored and remembered. Many people are afraid that's it's too soon. It has, however, been 5 years now. 5 years is not too soon. We are at the point now where we've moved on. Sure, we lament the loss of so many lives, but we've learned to deal with it, as all people eventually do. There will never come a time in any of our lives when we'll be able to think about that horrible Tuesday without choking up, getting goosebumps, or staring depressingly into space. So, if people are trying to avoid that, they're fighting a losing battle. Ignorning the truth of that day doesn't make it easier to understand or easier to bear. I haven't seen the movie yet, but I plan to, as soon as possible. Just watching the preview I get choked up, get goosebumps, and stare into space. This is why i'm feeling deeply upset.

As I do with most movies when I'm thinking about them and I'm online at the same time, I typed over to IMDb.com to check out its page. As I am wont to do once I reach these pages, I scrolled down to the forum posts made by the idiots of the world. The first one I clicked on started as a nice discussion but quickly moved into the realm of conspiracy and "I hate President George Bush" liberals. The feelings of people ranged between abosulte conspiracy nut, open-minded man on a soap box, anti-conspiracy realist, and "all you mother fuckers should just shut up now" psycho. I found it amazing how some people could take the smallest bit of anything and turn it into evidence of a conspiracy. I checked out some sites people provided because I like to have all the information I can, and mostly I found that the people who support these theories WANT there to be a conspiracy as if that would be better than what we all know as the truth. One guy uses history as a metaphor, referring to the Boston Tea Party that took place before the Revolution. He said that these people dressed up as Indians when they threw the tea into the harbor. He said clearly the Bristish never believed that Indians actually did this because they would've used some disguise and they wouldn't benefit from the tea's destruction at all. He goes on to say that since it was clearly middle eastern terrorists who caused 9/11 that it couldn't have been them at all and that if we want to figure out who really did it, we should research who benefited the most from this atrocity. Later another person agrees with him saying, "Yes, whoever benefited the most is the person behind 9/11." This is a ridiculous way to think about these attacks and I hope nobody else ever does. For one, the Muslim extremists who did this were not looking to benefit. These people feel they are fighting a war agianst the enemies of their god. They hate us and are trying to kill us. Our death is their greatest joy. In that sense, they benefited more than anybody. Two, I would hardly call the 9/11 attacks succesful. I once heard that there were many more plans that were supposed to have been hijacked and thrown at American institutions, but things did not go off as planned. All planes were forced to land and pilots were taking extra measures to assure safety. So saying whoever benefited the most is the person behind it is foolhardy since whoever was behind it didn't get the result he expected and therefore would not have benefited as he wanted to. More so than any of this though are the people who say that because the White House lied, hid evidence, and covered things up, that they are clearly hiding something or, at best, are fueling the conspiracy themselves no matter how untrue it may be. I'm sorry, but these people are fooling themselves if they think it's our government's responsibilty to be open and honest with us about everything. Thank God that the competent people who run this country keep secrets and hide things. Just because the goverenment lies to you or doesn't tell you something, doesn't mean there's something sinister going on. A government can not run on open honesty. It is not the responsibility of the government to hold your hand and walk you through all their ideas and decisions. There are some things that are best left secret, there are some things that are better for the public not to know. This is why I'm annoyed.

The worst people on these forums though are those that think the lies of President Bush are a greater atrocity than 9/11 was. The people who have no honor and respect for those who lost their lives in 9/11 because, "people die every day." The people from other countries who think America brough this on themselves. This is why I'm angry.